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Joel is a writer...well he wants to be...he tries to be and is sometimes successful. He's also a husband and a new dad. Stick around for the highs and lows and you can say you knew him when.

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Overheard on the Web: Michael Scott on Pam & Jim's Nuptials

Pam, you are like a daughter to me, and Jim is like a son. I'm so proud that my son and daughter are to be wed! Tis a thing of beauty! Glory be!!!
-Michael Scott
via halpertbeesly.com

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Posted 2 months ago

Random Web Pic of the Day: It's "Lost" Finale Time

courtesy of Tasty 'Shops

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Posted 6 months ago

Things Ella Said During "American Idol": Rock Week

About Kara's outfit: Well, she dressed appropriately for Rock Week, I guess. Black leather studded jacket and crazy hair.

About Slash: I don't know. I could mistake him for somebody else. They should have said "his hair is unmistakable." Or "his hat is unmistakable."

About Slash's mentoring ideas: We're gonna do it "slash style."

Joel - About Adam's song choice: First time we hear Led Zeppelin on Idol and it's got to be Adam?!

About Adam: He may be technically good, but I just can't believe him. He's like the anti-hardcore. He just happens to sing like he's a member of "The Darkness" so he decided to put on some "rocker clothes" and see if he could get paid.

About Randy's critique of Adam: "Rockstar?" Yeah, a Hollywood produced Rockstar.

Joel - About Paula's critique: Man, I'm really glad she didn't say he improved on Zeppelin.

Joel - About Allison's song choice: That totally makes up for Adam's song choice.

About Allison's hair: I may steal her hairstyle. She looks like a rockstar.

About these contestants: I could be a rockstar better than these dummies!

About Danny and Kris' duet: It is a joke for Danny Gokey to sing any song with "Renegade" in it.

About Kara's assertion that Danny and Kris were out of place singing "Renegade": Man, she finally got something right.

About Kris: Too much song for him. He faded. He was a background singer. (Joel completely disagrees) Lame. Lame. Lame. (Joel: I thought it was his best performance ever.) Ella: wrong.

About Kara's critique of Kris: Aw, she didn't like it, but she's giving him sweet eyes.

Joel - About Danny's song choice: Oh no. Two of my favorite bands raped on the same show!

About Danny's wardrobe change: Did he put on a vest? That's not rock 'n roll!

As Danny blew out a vocal chord: I'm done with "American Idol" I may be done with America.

About Kara's Time Traveling sickness: Um. "Aerosmith's early stuff? Like 'Cryin'' or 'Crazy'? That's weird. I thought those songs were from the late 80's/early 90's while "Dream On" is from the 70's!

About Kara: It's now obvious that she's number dyslexic.

About Danny's performance: That was terrible. Steven Tyler may put a hit out on him.

About Paula's outfit: Well. She just decided not to cover up her boobs tonight, huh?

Thoughts on the results show:

About the results show recap: I loved that editing. It made the show look a lot more serious.

About Kara's outfit: And her Celine Dion outfit is back!

About Paula's outfit: And her boobs are back.

About Daughtry's appearance on Idol: Thank God. A real rocker.

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Filed under  //  American idol   funny   tv  
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Posted 6 months ago

Things Ella Said During American Idol: Rat Pack Week

About Ryan's intro: Did Ryan just say "We'll see who sets the standard"? Ooh, puns!

About Randy's outfit: The necklace is BACK!

About Chris' assertion that "All (the Rat Pack) are dead": Ooh. Chris is very astute.

About Chris' assertion that "We can only do what we know how to do": Man! Chris is full of gems tonight.

About Jamie Foxx' reaction to Chris: Jamie sees how smart Chris is! He's very astute too.

About Kara's reaction to Kris: "Songs from this era give you a unique opportunity to show off you technical abilities...and this dress gives me a unique opportunity to show off my ta-ta's."

About Paula's dress: I wonder if she's wearing that to cover up her armpit fat.

About Paula's critiques: "Quiet confidence?" (Ella at this point grew silent and rubbed her forehead).

About Simon's description of Kris' performance as "wet": What the hell does that mean?

After Simon finished his critique: How does that connect to "wet"? And what the heck does a cocker spaniel have to do with it?

About Allison's interview: Allison no make the talky-talky very good.

About Jamie Foxx' direction of Allison: "Imagine the love flowing from your family into you and then out to the world!" Oh my God! He's one of those people!

About Allison's performance: She's a little too grabby-grabby with the microphone. She's not a diva yet!

About Randy's critique of Allison: Did he just say she wasn't hot until she came out lookin' like Brittany Murphy?

About Paula's critiques: You can tell from her comments that she's had a lot of therapy. You know, like one of those camps where you go away for the weekend and there's a lot of hugging...maybe some canoeing.

About Matt's song choice: That's not how you sing "My Funny Valentine" on Idol. This is the way you sing "My Funny Valentine" on Idol!

About Danny's song: "You're gonna love me, like nobody's loved me"? I don't really believe him.

About Danny's performance: His intro, walking out on stage while the music started was REALLY cool, but it was wasted on him. I was rootin' for him a little, but nope. We could have had a moment, Danny Gokey.

About Kara's reference to Danny's "Rat Pack Swagga": Kara was so turned on by that that she had to look away! Oh, my God! I don't...I can't... (see photo 8 for visual confirmation)

About Paula's critique of Danny: "I'm gonna keep this short. Stellar. Stellar. Stellar. Stellar. Stellar. Stellar. Stellar. Stellar. Stellar. Stellar. Stellar....(she went on for a while).

About the evening as a whole: I'd just to point out that all the guys are wearing tie clips.

About Adam's entry: The LOOOOOOONNNNGGGGGG Walk!

About Paula's exclamation of "I LOVE IT!" about Adam's theatricality: LMAO (she didn't say it, she did it).

About her reaction to the show as a whole: I think what this show really needs is an audio commentary. Maybe next year, we'll have to do a podcast!

Ella's Top Five Annoying Compliments from Paula, Best Left Unsaid:

5. You're our Michael Phelps.
4. Alluring and tender.
3. Innocent sensibility.
2. Stellar.
1. Quiet Confidence.

That's it for another week. Now I've gotta go learn how to make a podcast. The photos below represent nine stupid faces made on this week's show. Notice that four of them are Kara. JS

                 

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Posted 7 months ago

Today's Top Five: Things "Chuck" is Better Than

Great SEASON finale last night. No spoilers here, but just wanted to share some thoughts on exactly where "Chuck" ranks in my pantheon of awesome. "Chuck" is better than all these things.

5. Reese's Peanut Butter Cups - Chocolate, peanut butter. Two great tastes that taste BETTER together, and yet the creamy choco goodness can't begin to compare with Mr. Bartowski and his cohorts.

4. The NFL Draft - There was a time when draft day was like a little manly holiday in the barren wasteland known as "the offseason". Finding out the pieces that your team is adding to help get you over the hump (or reload if you're a fan of one of those "good teams") is incredibly exciting. But Draft day is nothing next to a day in the Buy More.

3. Icee - That sweet nectar of the gods that is the perfect combination of sweet and slushy (not to be confused with "slushie" which is a pale "Icee" imitator) is a beautiful thing. One of the highlights of living in the south (do they have these in the north?) but as much as I love a Coca-Cola Icee, I'd rather have a new episode of "Chuck". Sure, it may not keep me alive if I was dying of thirst in the desert (I'm not sure the Icee would either, to tell you the truth) but I'd die with a smile on my face. Can your favorite TV show do that?

2. Lazy Rivers - The Lazy River may be the single greatest human invention of all time. For those not familiar: it's a long and winding pool with a slight current, on which you float withย inter-tubes, generally sipping a drink with an umbrella. I don't know about you, but this was my own personal image of heaven...until I saw this season's finale of "Chuck". Sorry, Lazy River. We'll always have Jamaica!

1. The Bandit's Trans Am - Mind you, I'm not saying that "Chuck" is better than the Bandit himself. Nothing is that cool. But, Special Agent Charles Carmichael and his crack team of Government sponsored bad a**** is cooler than the car by itself. And, since when I saw a Bandit Trans Am the other day I actually stopped to inquire about the price and whether he'd wanna trade straight up for my Camry, you should know that I love this car. Just not as much as I love "Chuck".

Save "Chuck" NBC!!!

         

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Posted 7 months ago

Chuck is a Hero in Real Life Too...a Lunchtime Hero

via tvsquad.com

Zachary Levi (Charles Bartowski) took about 600 "Chuck" fans to lunch at Subway today. 600 x $5 is how much? That guys a real hero.


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Posted 7 months ago

Today's Top Five: Things You Can Do Today to Save "Chuck"

***Updated***

Tonight is the season finale of NBC's spy dramedy "Chuck". It COULD be the SERIES finale. But we're not gonna let that happen. Here's what you can do TODAY to help.


5. Watch and episode (or twelve) of "Chuck" today on Hulu.com or NBC.com - This is the best way that you can show NBC that YOU are watching this show. There's no question about it, you're not a half a percentage point in a Nielson report, you are a person watching their show (with ads) online. Leave them on in the background all day if you can.

4. Pre-order Season 2 from Amazon.com - The show has been outstanding this season, building from episode to episode better than anything else on TV. Let's show NBC (and Warner Bros., the studio that produces "Chuck") that we appreciate quality television by pre-purchasing the Complete Season Set.

3. Watch the season (not series) finale tonight. - Some of you are Nielson families. Some of you have Tivo's (that collect data about programs watched), but even if you don't, do your best to watch the finale tonight. Let's ensure that the ratings are sky-high.

2. Invite friends. - I'm generally completely against watching a show out-of-order, but this is a do or die situation. If you have a friend that you think would be remotely interested in "Chuck" (and who wouldn't be?) get them to come over and watch it with you tonight. Sure, some of the relationships and jokes might not make as much sense to them, but you'll have just created another happy consumer for the DVD's and another angry mob member if the show does get canceled by NBC. We're trying to build an army here, people, we need all the help we can get.

1. Eat at Subway today. - Silly? Perhaps, but Subway has been a big advertiser on "Chuck" having their $5 footlong's built into a couple of storylines. Belly up to your local sandwich bar today, order one of those $5 footlongs and fill out a comment card saying you ate at Subway because of "Chuck" on NBC. If our outrage over the possible loss of this show won't make NBC change their mind, a major sponsor's report that they want to up their advertising budget for a certain spy dramedy will.

Good luck and Godspeed.

***Updated*** This message has already been viewed almost 130 times in just a couple of hours. If everyone spreads the message, we can get this rolling and keep a show we all love. In case your Subway doesn't have comment cards (or if you forgot to fill one out) just follow this link to leave the comment directly at Subway.com ***Updated*** also, sign a petition to bring "Chuck" a third season at this link.

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Posted 7 months ago

Things Ella Said During American Idol: Disco Week

About judge's wardrobes: At least Randy's not wearing his Jamaican necklace!


About the week's theme: The only thing that could make this season worse is a Disco Night...and here we go!

About Lil's look: Her hair (I assume a weave) gets longer and longer every week!

About the Judges assertion that Lil sounded Karaoke: How could you not sound karaoke singing Disco? Anytime you sing Disco you are automatically dated.

About judges reaction to Lil: Blah, blah, blah. We hate you...except for Paula...who still hates you a little.

About Disco: Disco is the ugly step-sister of music.

About Kris' song choice: Kris just said, "She Work's Hard For the Money" is a "message song". So, I guess Scott would have sung that if he were still on the show?

About Randy's assertion that Kris "Knows who he is.": Yeah, he knows who he is because he's a copycat of a bunch of people. They're treating him like he's the best of the season, but remember, this is the season of mediocrity.

Translation of Kara's response to Kris: I'm so hot for ya' honey, 'cause you treated me right!

About Paula's analogy of Kris choosing a woman's song to "shopping in the women's section": Drops of genius. I think Paula must be one of these people who writes down little tidbits to use in her critiques and then just throws them in whether they fit or not.

In answer to Ryan's question "What would a Disco show be without a little 'Earth, Wind and Fire'?": A good show.

About Danny's performance: This is the kind of thing you change the station to get away from! Why would he choose this song? Let's poll our Facebook friends, I bet we couldn't find five people who have this song in their iTunes library!

Translation of Paula's reaction to Danny: I'm so hot for ya' honey, 'cause you treated me right.

About Allison: Why is she always singing songs with subject matter that's not appropriate for her? She needs a "mature audiences" warning label or something.

About Adam's singing: Did you hear Judah crying?

About Paula's reaction to Adam: She is MOVED. I mean emotionally TOUCHED. Look at her! She's shaking!

About Ryan's assessment of Paula, "She's a pool of Abdul": That's brilliant! Why didn't I think of that.

About Matt's performance: He said, "Come on.", Joel. You know what I think about that.

After Matt's performance: This can't have been a real song choice. It can't be.

About Randy's assertion that the Top 7 is the most talented ever in the show: Wha? Wha? I...I...I'm too tired to be funny about that. Just mark it down as ridiculous.

About Paula's "bowling" analogy: I am LOVIN' Paula tonight!

About Anoop's performance: We have to stop this. I can feel my blood pressure rising. He could throw me into early labor! I hate him that much.

About Paula's description of Anoop's facial hair: "Growth." That's exactly what you should call it.

I'd like to say that there may have been some funny lost in the translation tonight. I tried typing this on the iPhone (as I normally do) and it locked up on me. I then had to re-write the first half or so by hand, and then continue writing it out in my chicken-scratch before typing it in on the iMac. This, my friends, is why I'm taking contributions towards my laptop.

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Filed under  //  american idol   blog   ella   funny   tv  
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Posted 7 months ago

A Moment of Clarity: "Chuck" is My Favorite Show

Ella and I finally watched this week's "Chuck" tonight. It's the penultimate episode of this season and possibly of the series.


I've already ranted about what a great show this is, and how terrible it would be if it were canceled. I'll try to keep this brief (that's what this website is for anyway).

"Chuck" is my favorite show. If asked to choose between the continuation of "Chuck" and any other show we enjoy on a weekly basis, I'd be sad, but I'd choose "Chuck".

It's not the mix of mystery and drama that "Lost" is. It doesn't fulfill the my fantasies of superheroes like "Heroes" does. It's not as laugh out loud funny as "The Office" can be at its best. But somewhere in the mix, it outranks all of them in my heart.

As Ella and I talked about this week's episode and what it meant for the continuation of the story, I came to realize that not only was it my favorite show, but I'd choose it over most of the other shows combined. Casey is my Republican hero, and the funniest grumbler in TV. Morgan is the best friend that some of us are lucky enough to have in real life. Sara is the dream girl that you can't...oh, wait...maybe you can have her. Devon and Ellie are the perfect representation of the ups and downs of family. Big Mike is every boss.

And Chuck. Well, Chuck is what every geek has ever wanted to be. He's smart, he's funny, he's good looking (a little too good looking for a geek) and while nothing is settled now, I think there's a good chance he'll get the girl in the end.

NBC, you cannot let this show go. I refuse to believe that you don't see the gem you have on your hands. Move your schedule around, put it on Thursdays with "The Office" and "30 Rock" (as I've seen suggested online), but make room on your schedule and in your budget for "Chuck". It's the best show on TV.

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Posted 7 months ago

"Turn and Face the Strange" "Heroes" Mini Review

Is Bryan Fuller really this brilliant?


And if so, why doesn't he get an hour of primetime five nights a week next fall instead of Leno?

Since Fuller returned to "Heroes" from "Pushing Daisies" every week seems to be a little better than the last. It's like the more influence and input he had on the episode, the more like Season One it is. ** Note to NBC ** Please immediately fire Tim Kring and replace him as showrunner with Bryan Fuller.

There were still a few stilted moments in this episode, and it will never be confused for "Lost", "The Wire" or "BSG", but the acting overall was solid (the key is to keep "droopy mouth" Peter and "clenched teeth" Claire to a minimum. I'm not crazy about the level of humor with Ando, Hiro and Baby Matt, but it wasn't terrible. But the scenes with Sylar (as himself and everyone else in the cast) were tremendous. The first time he portrayed Sandra, I suspected it, but when Bennett flipped it on Danko, I was fooled both times (once when I thought it was Bennett, but nope, it's Sylar. then again when I thought it was Sylar, but nope, it's Bennett). While I've said before that Noah Bennett is the poor man's Benjamin Linus, this was one example where that's perfectly alright. Ben (from "Lost") would never have gotten tricked by Danko into getting run out of the organization (Ben probably would have time-traveled and killed Sylar when he was a toddler) but it was still a great little story arc for Bennett and put him right where he needs to be, back with our heroes, fighting on the right side.

I love where the story is headed. I couldn't be more geeked about next week's episode focusing "Company Man" style on Angela Petrelli's past. For the first time this season, I'm a little disappointed that the season is almost over.

God bless you, Bryan Fuller!

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Posted 7 months ago